Little Do You Know
by miumiu27
Summary: Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind I'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight ASUCAGA FIC! ATHRUNXCAGALLI


Inspired by the song **Little do you know** by Alex&Sierra

I really love them.. All I can is magic when I watch them perform.

* * *

LITTLE DID YOU KNOW

START: SEPTEMBER 6, 2016

ENDS: September 7, 2016

Gundam Seed and it's characters are not mine!

 **ASUCAGA** fic for all!

* * *

Cagalli sit on the side of the bed, looking at the man who is sound asleep. Tears rolling from her eyes. She slowly walk towards the bathroom and close the door. She took of all of her dress and walk towards the shower. Small sobs escape in her mouth when she starts to cry.

She felt betrayed, she felt abandon. Athrun did it again. He cheats in her again. She can't accept the fact that he can easily do that to her, when he always tell her that he loves her and she can't even accept that she always forgive him easily.

How many times did he do this? How many times did she forgive and accept him? Why is it hurt so much?

 _Am I not enough for you?_ That question repeats in her head. Is it that just she is just not enough for him? For 3 years of their relationship, Cagalli is a very faithful girlfriend. She dedicate all her time and love for him. So, why? why he always do that?

Memories starts to flood. _Bitter memories_.

The first time he cheated is bearable since, he is drunk. He was in Kira's, he brothers bachelor's party when that happen. He had a one night _stand_ with a blond woman that is _their common_ friend. Though she is hurt she accepted and forgive him because it's not his fault. She thought that it would be okay, every goes back to it's place.

Then, on their 2nd year, she was stuck by the news that Athrun is seeing another woman for almost a month. Her name is Meyrin Hawke, younger than her of 2 years. With strawberry color of hair, warm smiles. _Younger_ than her.

She confront Athrun and he told her that she is just for fun. That he is not serious on her. HE is just seeing her because of his friend's (Dearka) bet. She was just so hurt because of this and ask him for time. He just shrug it off and said "fine". Days after that "time" she'd ask, she heard that he is seeing that girl again. It hurts her more, knowing that Athrun didn't even try to ask for forgiveness.

Months later, she find herself at Athrun's door knocking. Athrun opens it. She can't just imagine that she's the one who is asking for forgiveness and wants to be back in his life. Athrun accepts it and in that day, she gave herself to him. The thing that she promise to do when she is married. She just gave it to Athrun willingly. Since that day, Athrun stop seeing Meyrin. Everything becomes normal again. Athrun becomes more attentive to their relation. More sweeter. It was perfect, for one whole year, they didn't have any issues, they even decide to live in one roof.

Until last week.

She was strolling in the shopping mall that is outside town when she saw a familiar face. She can't say that she knows them, so, she decides to follow them. And to her disgust. It was Athrun smiling widely at a the woman in his arms. A woman with long pink hair, blue eyes. She is a epitome of beauty, grace. She can see it in her features and actions. Athrun wound his arm in her waist and kiss the woman in the lips lovingly.

She just froze in that place. Staring at the man she gave everything.

She slowly turn around and walk, tears falling to her cheeks. She just went home, crawl in bed and hug herself while crying. Feeling alone, defeated and betrayed. Morning comes, Athrun is home, she just act that nothing happened, nothing change. But she knows to herself. Something is, it's not the situation, but herself, something in her is being torn and broken, and nothing, even Athrun can fix it.

* * *

Days have pass, Athrun is still himself, as if he is not hiding something to her. But she felt something change in her, that was the start of something. She rarely go home early, she busied herself to her work,. The intimate moments becomes rare, excusing herself being tired and needs to rest more. _'I love you's'_ lessen. She also notice the changes in him, he slowly becomes aloof, become distant and she felt hurt.

 _Did he not notice her change? Does she really mean to him?_

Until one day, Athrun talk to her when she came home early.

"I'm sorry.."-He said. She just stared at him.

"This.. what we have don't really work.."-He continued. She just just stared at him, all his words didn't sink in her mind.

"Maybe.. we better off.. without each other.."-He said. She just turn around and cry silently. Then she just notice his baggage.

"I'll take my leave. I found a place."-He said and grab it and walk out the door.

and just like that, everything shatters. The last thing that is whole in her broke. She cried all night thinking what had been wrong? Did she don't mean to him. After all this years?.

She stays in bed for a whole day. Fixing herself, but she knows, that how hard she tries, she can never be whole again, maybe fix, but still have cracks.

* * *

Weeks had pass, She starting to fix herself. Moving forward. To be strong enough to face the reality. She busied herself in her work again and starts to look for a new place (because she's not comfortable in their share house anymore). She also starts to mingle with others, office mates, friends, to make her more occupied. And there she met Shiro. He's the son of one of her clients in the firm, at first, he is just a regular talk about business, but lately, he becomes more of a good company until he told her that he is interested in him. She'd been honest to him that she is still fixing some issues in herself and didn't need another relationship and he understand and willing to wait.

Everything is okay, Shiro became more and more special in her heart (though as a friend) and begin to accept him until one day, Athrun walk into her door (their shared house) and asking for her forgiveness.

"I know I am a jerk, and I accept that, but, Cagalli, I still love you.. I realize it in this passed few weeks.. and I want you back, us back"-He said.

She didn't know what happened to her but she found herself in his arms, kissing him, throwing their clothes in the floor. Athrun on top of her, thrusting inside her while kissing her hungrily, she can feel the longing, passion and love that was lost.

"I love you.." She heard it repeatedly on Athrun's mouth while thrusting in her, his pace quicken until they reach their climax. Athrun kiss her again and lay beside her. He snake his arms around her, hugging her tightly, showering her kisses, whispering 'I love you' and 'Sorry' repeatedly. She just stared at the ceiling, asking if that was the right thing to do, she look at Athrun, who is now peacefully sleeping, arms still in her, she snuggle in his arms, She felt Athrun tightens his hug in her before succumbing to sleep.

* * *

That morning, Athrun is different, he is more thoughtful, he insist that he would drive her at work and pick her up after, she told him that he don't have to do it but he insists. He gives her more attention now, becomes more interested in her day, always asking hows her work, did she want something. She should happy by that? She is, but there is the doubt in her, that he might change his mind, that he might do what he did in the past. And it kills her more, she knows to herself that she love him, it never fade nor lessen, but there is something in her, that she just can't ignore, her heart, that always ache, though smiling, it still ache, knowing that she still needs to prepare herself for another heartache.

One night, while Athrun is sitting in the bed reading some documents, she ask him.

"What did happen?"-She ask him. Athrun turn his attention to her, confusion written in his eyes.

"To?"-He ask.

"To you? To us?"-She ask. She saw the pain and regret.

"That's not important anymore.. it's in the-"-She cut him off.

"It is Athrun... for me it is.. I.. want to know.. everything.. I want you to be more honest.. I want to know.."-She said. Athrun breath deeply.

"I cheated on you."-He said. It didn't surprise her, since she knows about that woman, what surprise her is his next word.

"I've been with her for almost a year."-He added. Her eyes widen. _For a year? WTF!._ She stays calm, eyes moisten. Athrun look at her.

"I-I'm sorry, I know that I am a jerk, I never want to hurt you, I never want to do that, but, I am a jerk, taking you for granted, always setting you aside, knowing you will always be there, accepting me, forgiving me, and leaving you is the worst thing that I will forever regret Cagalli, I will never forgive myself for that."-He said. Tear flowing in her face. For a year! She never expected him to be that. Athrun is alarm when he saw that Cagalli is crying, he immediately stood and walk towards her, he hugs her tightly.

"I-I'm sorry, I never want that to happen, it was just... I was tempted, I was too stupid, I never know your value, loosing you will be the death of me Cagalli,"-He tighten his hold on her.

"When I saw you with another man, laughing, making you happy, I felt that my world crash, I want to run towards where you both are, pull you and show him that you are mine, but I know that I don't have any rights, because I let you go, I left you and I was stupid to do that."-He said.

"Y-You see me with... Shiro?"-She said. Athrun gritted his teeth hearing that name coming out of her mouth. He can feel it, that man have a space in her heart, though not as he have in her heart, but he is sure that he is special to Cagalli, and he can't let that happen. Call him selfish, but he can't let anyone take Cagalli.

He kiss her hungrily, not letting her speak again, he didn't want to know who he is to her, she is his, damn all damn, he will do everything to make sure that she will not escape from him, even doing what he promise not to do.

Marrying her.

* * *

Athrun walk up, searching for the warm on the other side of bed and finding it empty, he abruptly sit, searching for her in the room, he saw the lights in the bathroom is open, he grab his boxer and wear it. He walk to the bathroom door and ready to knock when he heard something.

Cagalli is crying.

He clench his fist. He did that, he made her cry, he hurt her. His an stupid jerk. He will never turn back the time, when he was too foolish, hurting her, cheating on her, and worst, leaving her. He made so many mistakes, and he wants to make it right. He love her more than before. He thought that he just fall out of love because she's too busy with her work. At first, he just needs some enjoyment, a pass time.

The incident with Stellar is the start. He never meant to do that, they are both intoxicated, drunk and everything happened fast, they both enjoy, but he felt guilty, he told Cagalli that it was just an accident and just one time, but he it isn't, it happened again twice, thrice, but wen Shin found out, Stellar end what they have.

Then, he met Meyrin Hawke. They just flirt at first and it led to another. He was her first, Meyrin is very innocent and young, but they both enjoy what they have, until Cagalli confronted him, he tells her the truth that she was just a bet, but Cagalli tells him that they better be off, he just shrug it off, he just let her walk out in his life, he still continue what Meyrin and him had, he never think of Cagalli, but when she came back, knocking in his door, saying sorry and she wants them back, he felt guilty, he should be the one that saying sorry, asking for her forgiveness, he hug her tightly, and promise to be more better boyfriend, that night is the most memorable thing for him, they made love for the first time. She was his first. Everything is back to normal, he became sweeter, more attentive, but Cagalli became distant, cold, they intimate moment lessen, but he didn't do anything, that's when he met Meer.

Meer is very opposite of Cagalli. Meer is a graceful and elegant kind of person. They accidentally met when he was one of his business meeting out of the town. Then their meeting become more often until he ask her to be his girlfriend. He didn't know that is in his mind, maybe, he is seeking the comfort that Cagalli can't give. Meer is more sweet and attentive and he didn't know that he starts to fall for her more and more, until one day, he woke up, looking at Cagalli, feelings gone. So he thought that he fall out of love, and decided to leave, move out and live with Meer.

He is happy with Meer, but there is always missing, something that he didn't point. He enjoys making love with her, Meer is more open about Sexual experiment, but whenever he is in his high, he will see Cagalli's face instead of Meer and it irritates him, he can't understand himself.

Until one day, when he was walking back to his office, a couple caught his attention. A very familiar blonde woman, sitting, laughing with a man, he can see the happiness in her eyes, looking at the man with loving eyes, appreciation and love, he knows it.. because that is the way Cagalli look at him, when they are still together. And hits him, the painful ache in his heart, knowing Cagalli would love someone that is not him. Knowing she would move one. Knowing she no longer care. It kills him.

Then he decide to make things right. He love Meer, he knows that, but he love Cagalli more than anything, and he can't bear knowing that she would move on, love someone else, he will die. He come back, not knowing what will happen. If she will not accept him, he will do everything, even impossible things, to win her back.

The door in the bathroom open, he look at her, wet hair and puffy eyes, there is still hint of tears.

Her eyes widen when she saw him standing in the door, she don't know that he is awake.

"I- "-Her word are cut when Athrun hug her.

"I'm sorry.. for everything.. for hurting you many times, for leaving you alone, for being a jerk. I promise to be good to you more, I'll love you more, until your pain will go, I'll make it better,"-He said. Cagalli hug him back.

"I know.."-She said.

* * *

Cagalli stared at the flowers in her table. A bouquet of roses from Athrun. He meant what he said, he will be a better boyfriend. He drives her to office and pick her up, sends flowers everyday, sometimes, he always prepare dinner for them. A better and prefect boyfriend. She smiles. She is happy, but the broken pieces is still there, the pain didn't fade. She buried her face in her hands. She just too confused, she felt distracted, she feels like she want something that she can't point out.

"Cagalli?"-She look at door and see Shiro, she smiles.

"Shiro? Why are you here?"-She ask. Shiro smile and walk towards her.

"Your spacing out, I knock in your door 3 times, "-He said.

"Sorry about that"

"It's okay, I just want to tell you that I will be moving outside the town."-He said. Cagalli's eyes widen, she stood up and walk towards him.

"W-Why?"

"They offer me this a long time ago, but I didn't accept it, I have a certain reason, but now, I don't think I still have."-He said. He look at her in the eyes. Yes, she knows it, the reason is her, and she honestly admit that maybe, if Athrun didn't come back, maybe.. just maybe, he will be the one, that she will love. Shiro is a very nice man, he is there when she needs someone, he treasure her, love her.

"I love you Cagalli."-He said. Cagalli look at his eyes, saying it sincerely.

"I-I love you.."-She said, tears falling in her eyes. Shiro touches her cheeks, slowly, his face came closer until his lips touches hers, they share a passionate kiss, kiss that tells it all, the love, the pain, the happiness that they share in a short time. They know that this love that they have is magical, it will always be, it was pure and true, but they it was not right, the love that they have will just be a happy memory that they will have forever. And with that, it ends.

* * *

Athrun is in the bed reading his documents when Cagalli sit at the side of the bed, he smiles at his beautiful blonde woman.

"We need some time off."-She said. Athrun stare at her, confusion written in his face.

"We need time."-She added. Athrun gritted his teeth and put down the documents he is reading.

"What's with it Cagalli?"-He ask.

"We need to think Athrun, we need to-"-She was cut off by Athrun.

"I don't need to damn think! I know what I want! I don't need time! I know that I love you... and always you!"

"Athrun.. we need this.."

"NO! I don't need that f*ck Cagalli!"

"I need this.." - Athrun look at her now crying form. She look tired and defeated.

"Cagalli.."

"I need this Athrun.. I need to think.. I need to fix something that had been broken by you.. I need to find myself again, I am too broken right now Athrun, and I can't think clearly, I want to be myself again."

"Is it because of that man? Do you want to be with him?" -Cagalli shook her head.

"No,!, God knows how much I want to be with you, I love you Athrun. Yes, I will admit it, I love him, there was a time that I want to be with him, to go and run after him, but I know to myself that I can't bear leaving you, I love you more than you know, It was just.. I want to find something.."-She said.

Athrun walk towards her, wipe the tears in her face. It hurts to hear that she love someone.

"We can do that together, I promise that I will not do anything that will hurt you again. I promise to be more... more understanding."-He said. She shook her head.

"I should be the one to fix myself Athrun, no one else.."

"But you can do that without breaking up with me."

"I can't promise you anything Athrun."- His frown.

"You don't have plan to come back to me?" Cagalli look at his horrified face.

"I-I don't know! I just to be alone, I just want to know myself again, I am too confuse Athrun!"-She said and cried harder, She is confuse, all this things happen after Shiro left, she felt horrible, thinking that she made the wrong decision letting him go, but she can't leave Athrun, she loves him, but there is always a doubt, that maybe, one day will do it again, and she knows that it will break her, no, it will destroy her. Ever since their relationship started, she depended on him, he is her world.

"I am broken Athrun, I depended my life on you ever since, and it broke me, I want to break free from that, I want to start a new."-She said, she stared at him. He hug her, not letting her go, he started to cry.

"I-I can't. I love you too much, It'll kill me if you never come back."- He said.

"It hurts Athrun, I love you too, more than anything, but we need this. We both know, we are broken, we have gap, we are not what we are before, I love you, but we need to end this."-She said.

"I can't."

"You should, you'd done this before,"

"I'm too stupid on that time."

"Then be stupid again."

"Stay."

"I can't"

"Then promise to come back."-He said firmly.

"Athrun..."

"I can't bear knowing you will not come back, I can't bear thinking you will love someone, thinking that you will leave me."-He said. Cagalli's tears roll down her face, she nodded.

"I promise. But it might be a long wait."-She said.

"I can wait, just for you."

"You're free to see someone."

"No."

"Athrun.."

"If I do that, you would also do it? I can't, I imagine you hugging, kissing, making love with someone else." Cagalli hug him tight.

"Possesive as ever."

"Just for you." Athrun look at her.

"I love you."-He said and kiss her, they shared a passionate kiss, like their life depends on it. Athrun started to roam her hands all over her body.

"Athrun.."- Cagalli whisper.

"Just this. Even for the last time.. no, it won't be the last.. But for now.. I want to make love to you Cagalli, I want you to feel my undying love for you."He said. Cagalli nodded, taking off her own clothes.

That night is the most painful but memorable night they had, they made love all night until they are both exhausted. The pain, the sorrow, the love. They let it go.

Athrun kiss the top of her head. Tear roll down his face. All his mistakes is drowning him, hits him hard and he don't have any choice but to accept it.

"I'm letting you go.." He whisper to her...

xxxx

 _that's it._

 _that's a wrap._

 _I hope you all enjoy this.. thanks.._

 _to all ASUCAG, ATHRUNxCAGALLI ship here! Hello! I am one of you guys! Loud and Proud.!_


End file.
